


if you could see it then you'd understand

by nosecoffee



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anger, Angst, Car Accidents, Character Death, Crying, Fae AU, Friendship, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Magic, Magic AU, Making Out, Male/Female Friendship, Sad Aaron, Wishing on stars, muted survivors guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-14
Updated: 2016-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-08 08:38:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8837854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nosecoffee/pseuds/nosecoffee
Summary: At 1:11 am, on a full moon, in a Denny's car park, if you make a wish, there's an 85% chance that it'll come true. A Magic AU where wishing on stars doesn't always have the best outcome. At first.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Speed of Sound' by Coldplay.
> 
> I'm not even going to apologise.

At 1:11 am, on a full moon, in a Denny's car park, if you make a wish, there's an 85% chance that it'll come true.

  
 Or, at least, that's what Theodosia claims when she drags Aaron out of bed and, with his help, steals his grandfathers car.

  
 They're sitting on the bonnet, the car parked beside a bunch of overflowing charity bins. Theodosia leans back against the windscreen.

  
 "What time is it?" She asks again and Aaron presses the home button on his phone, watching it light up, much to bright.

  
 "1:10." Aaron says. He yawns, and puts the back of his hand to his mouth. He deserves coffee for this, but Theodosia is adamant.

  
 "You ready?" She asks, snaking her arms around his shoulders and pulling herself flush against his back. Theodosia's been his best friend since kindergarten.

  
 Aaron leans into her, his hand cupping one of hers. "Yeah. I still think you shoulda let me nap, but yeah."

  
 She laughs and buries her face in his neck. Her breath tickles his skin, her hair rubbing against his ear. Aaron presses the home button again. "1:11, make a wish." He says, but it's a whisper.

  
 "I wish that I will never regret a moment in my life." Theodosia says, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Your turn."

  
 Aaron sighs. "I wish..." The seconds are ticking by, his window closing. "I wish that something changes. Something big."

  
 Theodosia punches him in the shoulder and Aaron drops his phone. "Ow, what was that for?" He says, hopping off the good of the car to pick up his phone.

  
 "That's so lame." She replies. 

There's a thin crack on his screen, and the lock screen proclaims that it's officially 1:12 am.

  
 "Wanna drive to McDonalds and get an apple pie and then snooze in the back seat?" Theodosia asks, hopping off the car after him.

  
 "And wake up to a tonne of messages from Sally and my grandparents about where I am and where the car is?"

  
 He wants to say 'no thanks' but he's already out of bed, and he's never in trouble anyway.

~

When he wakes up, it's not in the backseat of his grandfathers car, parked in a McDonald's car park.

  
 He's in a hospital bed and Sally is sitting beside him, holding his hand, seemingly asleep.

  
 Aaron shifts and winces. There's an IV in his arm and bandages on his ribs and a brace on his wrist.

  
 Sally wakes slowly and when they lock eyes she bursts into tears.

  
 He can't speak, when he tries, but Sally tells him what happened anyway.

  
 They were driving to McDonald's, he'd told a paramedic at the scene before slipping into unconsciousness.

  
 They hadn't even seen the fox.

  
 Aaron had swerved.

  
 It wasn't his fault.

  
 It had been quick.

  
 She didn't suffer.

  
 She wasn't in pain, for long.

  
 Theodosia's parents didn't blame him.

  
 Sally cries as she tells him, and Aaron feels tears in his eyes.

  
 Theodosia is gone.

  
 So much for wishes.

~

He wakes up one night, very briefly, while he's still in hospital, with the only thought in his head being 'if it was quick for her, then perhaps she never had time to regret anything, and her wish came true'.

  
 Aaron falls asleep quickly after that, and dreams of stars and overflowing charity bins and clocks.

~

Perhaps the stars have a dark sense of humour.

~

He's almost forgotten his wish when he returns to school. The car accident had happened during summer break, so by the time everyone's come back for school, word has gotten around that Theodosia's dead now.

  
 Word also gets around that there's a new boy at school.

  
 Aaron hears this from Angelica Schuyler, wearing a nice tangerine sundress, that matches her sisters, identically, apart from the colour. He's still got the wrist-brace on, so she's being delicate with him.

  
 They all are.

  
 The brace is a reminder of what he did, and everyone keeps telling him that it wasn't his fault.

  
 'Fuck them,' he thinks bitterly. No matter how many times they say it Theodosia remains dead.

Wishing on a star at any time in any place will never change that.

  
 They live in a small town so when he's done staring broodily at the back of the head of whoever's sitting in front of him, he has time to register that he had no idea who they are.

  
 Stem and leaf diagrams can wait, because Aaron hasn't met the new boy yet, and he'll be damned if he doesn't speak to him before he hears.

~

Aaron corners him outside of math class when the bell rings.

  
 He knows he should be going to English but the other part of him screams that he won't let himself be tarnished yet.

  
 "Hi, I'm Aaron Burr, you must be Alexander Hamilton." He extends the hand that doesn't have the wrist-brace on it.

  
 Alexander still stares at it.

  
 By the time that Aaron's ready to retract his hand, Alexander takes it, and shakes, hesitantly. "News travels fast, I see." He replies slowly, sounding out the words as he says them. Like he's only just learning the lingo.

  
 Aaron shakes it off. Alexander looks different. Abstract. Like there's something subtlety off about him.

  
 "You'd be surprised." Aaron responds, and Alexander lets his hand drop.

  
 His ears are pointy, Aaron notes to himself. His eyes are small, but bright. He fidgets, hands playing with the hem of his t-shirt, feet tapping.

  
 "I need to get to class." He tells Aaron.

  
 Aaron steps away, smiling at Alexander.

  
 Alexander smiles back slowly.

  
 And then he walks away.

~

Eliza sits out with him during PE, and talks to him about her summer, vacationing in Australia, strategically avoiding all mentions of anything that might remind him.

  
 Aaron's thankful, and also a little ticked off. But it's Eliza, so he'd forgive her if she stepped on him or something equally un-Eliza like.

  
 He fazes in and out of her words, and let's his eyes wander until they settle on Alexander, walking the little chain link fence that sections the football field off from the forest.

  
 Aaron watches Alexander jump it, and watches him disappear into the woods.

~

'Do you like wagging PE lessons? - Aaron.'

  
 'Do you like sitting out? - Alex.'

  
 'It's for an injury, or did you miss the brace? - Aaron.'

  
 'I didn't. Just wanted to see how easy riling you up would be. - Alex.'

  
 'Some people would say that's cruel. - Aaron.'

  
 'And why would they say that? - Alex.'

  
 'Because I was just in a terrible car crash that killed my best friend. - Aaron.'

  
 'My condolences. - Alex.'

  
 'Forget it. - Aaron.'

~

Peggy partners with him on an English project. The project is due in a week. It's a narrative about star-crossed lovers, and every paragraph they have to switch points of view.

  
 Peggy's wearing a sunflower flower crown that matches her dress.

  
 Aaron says that they should write from the perspectives of opposites.  She asks him to specify.

  
 "Light and dark, night and day, life and death, cat people and dog people." Peggy laughs at the last one. "Polar opposites. Parallels. Things that are the same and different and can never meet."

  
 "So," she asks. "Dog person?"  
 Aaron shakes his head. "Lizards are my thing."

~

Eliza's playing netball, so he's alone on the stands.

  
 His phone is dead.

  
 Aaron watches Alexander sneak away from the group. Over the chain link fence. Into the forest.

  
 He looks back to the game.

~

'Do you just not like PE? - Aaron.'

  
 'It's not my forte, no. - Alex.'

  
 'Why don't you just come and sit in the stands with me? - Aaron.'

  
 'Because that's boring. - Alex.'

  
 'Am I boring? - Aaron.'

  
 'I don't know. I guess I'd have to know you to answer the question. - Alex.'

  
 'Okay. - Aaron.'

  
 'You're not gonna tell? - Alex.'

  
 'Don't see why. - Aaron.'

~

Persephone and Hades.

  
 The sun and the moon.

  
 Fire and water.

~

Aaron's phone is charged, but he still watches Alex jump the chain link fence.

  
 Except that before he disappears into the darkness of the forest, he turns and meets Aaron's eyes and there's something almost feral about that look that sets Aaron's teeth on edge-

  
 And then he's gone and Aaron looks down at his phone.

~

'I see your brace came off. - Alex.'

  
 'Passing notes in math class? I thought you were a Grade A student. - Aaron.'

  
 'Hardy-har. I'm trying to start a conversation here. - Alex.'

  
 'Yes, it came off at physio therapy last night, okay? - Aaron.'

  
 'Okay. Congrats. Your wrist is healed then? - Alex.'

  
 'Yeah, but I can't do much with it. - Aaron.'

  
 'Well, great. That's really great. - Alex.'

  
 'Sarcasm? - Aaron.'

  
 'Not even a little bit. - Alex.'

~

He and Peggy get a B+. He sees Alex across the room, receive his grade and nod, before turning to look wistfully out the window.

  
 After class when everyone's gone, Aaron goes to check, and his susoicions are confirmed. The window looks out to the forest.

~

He follows Alexander to the chain link fence this time, climbs over it slowly so as not to aggravate his bad arm, and once he's on the other side of it, hurries to catch up with the other boy.

  
 Aaron keeps him in his sights, but tries to stay as quiet as possible as Alexander journeys further and further into the forest.

  
 Aaron can't hear the sounds of the game anymore. Can't hear Eliza yelling.

  
 Suddenly, they arrive at a clearing and Alexander turns, looking him dead in the eye. "Is there a reason you decided to follow me?" He asks.

  
 Aaron's surprised, to say the least. He walks out from behind his tree and they stand opposite each other. Parallel. "How long did you know I was there?"

  
 Alexander shrugs. "What did you think I was doing here?"

  
 'Doing drugs' is the first thing that comes to mind, and 'jerking off' is the second. Blood rushes to his cheeks and he's thankful that Alexander can't see it.

  
 "What ARE you doing here?" He asks instead of answering.

"Why are you avoiding my questions?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

They come to a stalemate, staring at each other across the clearing.

Suddenly, Alexander cocks his head to the side. "You want to know?"

Another question. Aaron almost snorts. "Yes."

Alexander closes the space between them, standing so close that he can feel his breath on his cheeks. He can feel the rise and fall of Alexander's chest against his.

The words are almost lost to him in the blanket of pure intimacy that Alexander casts.

But he doesn't miss them.

~

After that, it's almost like he has a secret, except Alex - no longer Alexander - Alex never told him that he couldn't tell anyone.

Now he knows something that practically nobody else does.

It's the most alive kind of feeling he's had for a while.

Aaron doesn't dwell on it too much (he thinks about it in class, and on the bus home, and right before he goes to sleep) but every time he catches Alex's eye (in English class, by the bike racks, watching from the stands as he jumps the chain link fence over and over and over again) he wonders why Alex even told him.

Because, suddenly, Alex isn't Alex anymore. He's an evil, dangerous creature - Aaron's heard the stories, he knows better - but he's still keeping a secret.

~

It's six months since the car crash, five since Alex appeared, three since Alex told him, and he's sitting in history class when he realises that it's Theo's birthday.

Aaron excuses himself - being in a car crash means he has instant access to an exit card - and exits the school.

The grass squishes wetly under his shoes as he crosses the football oval. He just had PE so he knows that Alex is still in the forest.

He jumps the chain link fence, the way Alex does, except he slips in the mud on the other side when he lands and only saves himself with a hand on the top of the fence.

Rain starts pattering through the leaves left in the trees - there aren't many left, because it's the middle of winter, and it's refusing to snow - as Aaron walks briskly down the path. If he doesn't find Alex, he doesn't know what he'll do.

In his head, Aaron wonders why he didn't just drag Eliza out to the parking lot and sob into her hair, but Alex just seemed to be at the front of his mind - and had been for a while.

"Alex?" He calls. His voice echoes in the forest as the rain gets harder.

It's cold enough to be called sleet, but it trails down his neck, down the back of his shirt. It makes whatever warmth he had dissipate.

Alex appears like a will 'o the wisp through the trees.

Aaron doesn't give a reason. He just surges towards the other boy and closes the distance.

Aaron's not sure what he was expecting to find if he kissed Alex, but feeling himself grow colder and colder despite the warmth of Alex's lips is not it.

~

Eliza's really the only one that he trusts these days.

Eliza's the one who runs down the walk through to get to his house at three am because he wants to climb onto the roof and stare at the stars. Not to stop him, just to join him, and understand the raw guilt that claws at his stomach some nights.

Sometimes he doesn't call or text her. Sometimes he lays on his roof and watches the minutes tick by, 1:11 am coming and going.

Sally wakes him up on days that he falls asleep on the roof.

~

Alex doesn't question him.

Doesn't ask why Aaron sometimes follows him into the woods and kisses him, and sometimes watches him disappear into the forest from the stands.

He understands that Aaron doesn't like talking, understands that Aaron blames himself, understands that sometimes he just needs to come back to reality.

At least, Aaron hopes he understands.

Because if he doesn't, then why would Alex let him use him as he does?

~

It's spring, and Aaron knows he should wait, knows he should be asleep, but he calls Alex anyway.

"Hello?" Alex responds groggily on the other end of the line.

"Can you meet me in the Denny's car park? Like, as soon as you can?"

"Are you high?"

"Don't ask stupid questions. Just be there by 1."

"Okay." Aaron climbs out his window, his bad wrist only vaguely searing in pain. The walk is short.

When he reached the car park, he sees Alex almost immediately, sitting with his back against the charity bins. Aaron sits down, heavily, beside him.

"Is there a reason we're here?" Alex asks, his voice quiet.

Aaron presses the home button on his phone. 1:09 shines on the screen. "I think you know." He replied, voice ladened with hesitance.

"Wishes come with a price. You know that."

"Now. I didn't know it then."

"So that's why we're here? A stupid human thing?"

"Oh shush. It's the last thing that Theodosia and I did before she died."

"Okay."

He looks at his phone again. Watches 1:10 turn to 1:11.

"1:11, make a wish." He whispers.

Alex watches him with cautious eyes. "I wish that nothing bad will ever happen to you."

Aaron stares at him. "I wish that nothing bad ever happens to you." He echoes.

Alex blanches.

The time changes again, the window closed.

"Why?" Alex inquires, not angry, just confused.

"Because I won't lose you too." Aaron replies like its the simplest thing in the world.

It's not.

Alex can't stay with him.

Aaron knows that.

Knows that it's bad luck to love a faerie.

His luck hasn't been much good before.

 

Fin.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, my Tumblr is @nose-coffee, so you can track me down there, and feel free to leave a comment and a kudos. I'd really appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed this, thanks for reading.


End file.
